i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
