if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
