It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i think my cat just said my name.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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