I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
