This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
