Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
