Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize