i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
