So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
