wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
