the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
