So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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