remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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