So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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