took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
