She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Lo siento on account of my penis...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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