Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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