guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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