You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
