She said her name was "party"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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