i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Houston, we have a blender
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
