listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
