My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
