i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Randomize
