i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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