Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
