Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
