You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
