I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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