oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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