This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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