oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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