I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize