So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
