she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
