On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize