fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
