i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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