Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
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