Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
