Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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