very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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