So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
