how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
