why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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