I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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