Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Drake has all the answers
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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