i just wanna soil my oats bro
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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