We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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