I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
