I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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