In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
