Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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