I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
she looked like the before picture.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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