listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
