his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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