Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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