Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
