The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
3pm strippers are depressing
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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