I wannas sexs uuuuu
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
