idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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