yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
