Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
