I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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