I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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