I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
