I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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