This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
