yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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