I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
